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Love

By the time he swears you're his
Shivering and sighing
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this,
One of you is lying.[74]

Our relationships sustain us and all the things I have talked about drive us to relate to others. We share with all other animals the desire to do those things that will lead to having children and carrying on the species.

Economically and physically it is easier to live with someone with whom we can share responsibilities and experiences, who has similar or complimentary interests, who we can trust with our secrets and can rely on if things go wrong.

When we meet someone who seems to have the potential to be our ideal partner; who attracts us sexually and seems equally attracted to us, who is fun, who has ideas, interests, knowledge, abilities, aspirations, a family, social group, job or other things we find attractive; we fall in love.

Sometimes this lasts; but often we find that we were mistaken about the person for some reason. Most of us have trouble finding someone who truly meets all our needs. Because we can easily be mistaken (on both sides) it is wise to test relationships by progressively sharing experiences and intimacies to see if you both are still attracted.

 

living together

 

I have some experience in this area and could make this the sole subject of this essay, so I am just going to list a few important observations:

  • If your chosen potential partner has any defect you can't live with (even if balanced by good things) don't try to change them; walk away immediately.
  • If you have to keep any significant secret from a partner the relationship will not work.
  • Having a good relationship is not proof that you are a success in life or a bad one that you are a failure. Don't be proud: pride rides before a fall.
  • Never hang on in a relationship until you hate or despise your partner.
  • You can love more than one person in your life.
  • 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all[75].

 

 

wives

 

 

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Travel

Istanbul

 

 

Or coming down to earth...

 

When I was a boy, Turkey was mysterious and exotic place to me. They were not Christians there; they ate strange food; and wore strange clothes. There was something called a ‘bazaar’ where white women were kidnapped and sold into white slavery. Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, or was it Errol Flynn, got into all sorts of trouble there with blood thirsty men with curved swords. There was a song on the radio that reminded me over and over again that ‘It’s Istanbul not Constantinople Now’, sung by The Four Lads, possibly the first ‘boy band’.

 

Read more: Istanbul

Fiction, Recollections & News

The Meaning of Death

 

 

 

 

 

 

'I was recently restored to life after being dead for several hours' 

The truth of this statement depends on the changing and surprisingly imprecise meaning of the word: 'dead'. 

Until the middle of last century a medical person may well have declared me dead.  I was definitely dead by the rules of the day.  I lacked most of the essential 'vital signs' of a living person and the technology that sustained me in their absence was not yet perfected. 

I was no longer breathing; I had no heartbeat; I was limp and unconscious; and I failed to respond to stimuli, like being cut open (as in a post mortem examination) and having my heart sliced into.  Until the middle of the 20th century the next course would have been to call an undertaker; say some comforting words then dispose of my corpse: perhaps at sea if I was travelling (that might be nice); or it in a box in the ground; or by feeding my low-ash coffin into a furnace then collect the dust to deposit or scatter somewhere.

But today we set little store by a pulse or breathing as arbiters of life.  No more listening for a heartbeat or holding a feather to the nose. Now we need to know about the state of the brain and central nervous system.  According to the BMA: '{death} is generally taken to mean the irreversible loss of capacity for consciousness combined with the irreversible loss of capacity to breathe'.  In other words, returning from death depends on the potential of our brain and central nervous system to recover from whatever trauma or disease assails us.

Read more: The Meaning of Death

Opinions and Philosophy

In Defence of Secrecy

 

 

Julian Assange is in the news again. 

I have commented on his theories and his worries before.

I know no more than you do about his worries; except to say that in his shoes I would be worried too.  

But I take issue with his unqualified crusade to reveal the World’s secrets.  I disagree that secrets are always a bad thing.

Read more: In Defence of Secrecy

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