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Chapter 16

 

 

Diana has opened her robe on one side, like a wing offering me her comfort. As I walk painfully over to her, she brings her arm in, enfolding me, and my frigid nakedness.  Her arm is drawing me closer to her warm body. I realise how cold I am. I'm shivering. I've been petrificado! As I get warmer the musky smell rising from my body under her robe is almost overpowering. I realise, shamefully, that I'm filthy. And I stink.

It doesn't seem to worry her and she keeps comforting me. After a while she takes my hand and leads me to the shower, where we both get under the warm water and she soaps me down, like a mother showering a toddler, paying special attention to my dirty genitales. When she's finished, she towels me down and leads me back to the bed and gets in beside me, spreading the quilt over us both.

Her smooth warm body feels maravilloso.  She's stroking the back of my head with her free hand, her other arm still pulling me to her, firmly. A little kiss on the cheek. More stroking. This, suddenly maternal, Diana is calming me, easing my pain. She's soothing me. I start to sob with relief. "There there!" she keeps repeating, like my dear lost mother. I desperately soak up her love.

After a little while she asks: "Do you like my body holding you?" I nod. "I like yours too but you've been so reluctant to use it to please me in the ways I like. You've been very naughty." She's using a gentle, wheedling voice, as a mother might use to comfort a child who she's reluctantly disciplined: 'Mommy had to smack you because you were naughty, but Mommy still loves you and you still love Mommy'.

She's being so sweet.  

"Tell me how much you want to please me now that you're mine," she coaxes.

I need to reassure her, make mommy happy. But she's not my mommy. What does she want to hear?

"You're amazing..." My voice is childlike: "You've given me the best sex of my life. And I'm sorry that I was reluctant to do everything you wanted. I thought, I think, you are la mujer más deseable, most desirable woman, I've ever met!"

"Good boy!" she cries enthusiastically, hugging me, rewarding her little boy for a good answer. 

She holds my head between her hands and kisses me voluptuously on the mouth and we keep kissing passionately, her tongue darting.

It's not a mother's kiss. I'm feeling forgiven. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. 

"So, you'll be my 003 from now on?" I smile and nod '', pleased at the nickname. 

"Oh, but you can't agree until I tell you your duties. Would you like to hear your duties 003?"

I nod again. 

"Obviously sex is number one." I'm smiling broadly. "In future you must stop what you're doing and come to me whenever I call you... from now your first duty will be my pleasure, however I desire to use you... and you won't object to anything?"

'However she desires' is a bit worrying, she's obviously a sadist, but I nod and agree: "Si".

***

I'm still in her bed. She's lying peacefully asleep beside me, as if I've already agreed and she owns me entirely. But I haven't decided to stay. I've been wide awake for over an hour, considering the option of leaving. It all seems like a bad dream. I carefully raise myself on my elbows. It's real enough. Her hand is cupping me but it feels intimate and soothing and she's lying against me with her warm body, so protectively. 

This maternal Diana is amazingly sensual, comforting, reassuring. But she's was really turned on by hurting me, like that, and humiliating me. Is that what Agent 003 is to be - her masochistic gimp. At least she's not going post that video, or let Geraldo murder me, while she's using me for sex. She's so beautiful when she's asleep. My heart rate is back to normal.  I'm relaxing.

How bad can esclava sexual be? The most worrying thing is her sadistic streak and the requirement to pleasure her in any way she demands! How kinky might that get? Might it involve others? It can't be any worse than three-way sex, involving another man for her amusement. But I've been a 'gun for hire' in the past, so what's new? 

OK, I've decided to accept my sexual enslavement. I wonder what 'the next most important' duty is?

I start to nibble her ear: "This is 003, at your command... What's to be my most important duty? Diana Darling!" I murmur.

 

 

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Travel

Darwin after Europe

 

 

On our return from Europe we spent a few days in Darwin and its surrounds.  We had a strong sense of re-engagement with Australia and found ourselves saying things like: 'isn't this nice'.

We were also able to catch up with some of our extended family. 

Julia's sister Anneke was there, working on the forthcoming Darwin Festival.  Wendy's cousin Gary and his partner Son live on an off-grid property, collecting their own water and solar electricity, about 120 km out of town. 

We went to the Mindl markets with Anneke and her friend Chris; and drove out to see Gary, in our hire-car, who showed us around Dundee Beach in his more robust vehicle. Son demonstrated her excellent cooking skills.

 

Read more: Darwin after Europe

Fiction, Recollections & News

Dan Brown's 'Origin'

 

 

 

 

 

The other day I found myself killing time in Chatswood waiting for my car to be serviced. A long stay in a coffee shop seemed a good option but I would need something to read - not too heavy. In a bookshop I found the latest Dan Brown: Origin. Dan might not be le Carré but like Lee Child and Clive Cussler he's a fast and easy read.

Read more: Dan Brown's 'Origin'

Opinions and Philosophy

The Prospect of Eternal Life

 

 

 

To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream:
ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause:
… But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

[1]

 

 

 

 

When I first began to write about this subject, the idea that Hamlet’s fear was still current in today’s day and age seemed to me as bizarre as the fear of falling off the earth if you sail too far to the west.  And yet several people have identified the prospect of an 'undiscovered country from whose realm no traveller returns' as an important consideration when contemplating death.  This is, apparently, neither the rational existential desire to avoid annihilation; nor the animal imperative to keep living under any circumstances; but a fear of what lies beyond.

 

Read more: The Prospect of Eternal Life

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